Friday, October 25, 2013

Real Life Problems- When you like a guy, but don't want to be with him long-term.

You know, I don't ever see many bloggers talk about having difficulties with relationships. For the most part these bloggers already have long time committed boyfriends or fianc├ęs or husbands. OR they are 'single and loving it.'

When I was younger, I thought it would be cool to have the affection of so many men. That being liked by tons of guys would be an amazing adventure. Granted, I am not liked by 'tons of guys' but I do have two guys going for my attention.

And I know who I want, I think. I know who I have loved for a looonng time. Does it make it any easier letting the other person go? Not at all. Especially when he is holding on sooo tightly AND I work with him.

So, I guess I feel like writing this post from here on as if it isn't me having this problem, but rather what I expect to see other bloggers writing about if they were to write about this.

Let's say you start dating a guy and you love how funny he is, you think his eyes are mesmerizingly gorgeous, and he makes you feel all tingly inside. You feel like you love him. But then, he doesn't ever want to have kids and he really likes watching porn. Both of which you strongly feel opposite of him. So, you let him know, "Hey, I really like you, but I think we need to go our separate ways." And he doesn't agree. He really loves you and to be honest you always think about him when you guys aren't together. You don't want to make him sad, but you are having trouble not leading him on.

Here's a couple tips to help each of you move on smoothly:
  1. Absolutely make up your mind. Either you want him or you don't. Don't idle or try and cheat by wanting him in your life as a booty call because he already has deeper feelings than that. He can't be your best friend at this point either. If you guys are out together- you guys ARE together.
  2. Don't get mixed up in his business. If you happen to know that he missed work three days in a row- do not call him and check on him. He has a momma and his own friends. Let them do the babying. He ISN'T YOURS TO TAKE CARE OF.
  3. Resist the urge to talk about him to anyone. Don't tell your best friend that you miss him. Don't explain the cute thing he does with his hair. Don't talk bad about him, most importantly.
  4. Stay away. Granted, if you work with him this is harder. Get bit by the superhardworker bug and suddenly start doing your work with amazing passion and focus. That's right, scrub those dishes until they squeak and sign those papers like they'll be laminated and enshrined for years to come.
  5. Be productive. Move on with your life. There is always something you could be doing that will help better your life or the lives around you. Tell me when the need to wallow in bed and think about life together with your unwanted man beats walking a dog who's starved for attention? One makes nobody happy and the other makes two happy individuals.
Well, there's my list of tips. By following these simple guidelines, you'll be able to move on and he'll see that... eventually he'll move on too.

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