From my Facebook: "I kinda believe that life is like a spinning wheel. Sometimes you are at the top of the wheel and things couldn't get better. Sometimes you are at the bottom of the wheel and no matter how hard you try, there's no forcing that wheel back up. Right now, I'm on the bottom and this freaking thing has a flat."
Spencer and I broke up two Mondays ago. It was sad and slightly expected. I still love the boy. I love him so much. We still live together and he thankfully is letting me use his vehicle and is still paying for almost everything at the house. I simply pay my half of rent.
Even though he is paying for everything house related- he isn't paying for groceries any more. He isn't paying for my phone or my gas. He isn't paying for my expenses. This is really hard and different for me. He's always been there for me financially and with support. I'm having a difficult time trying to keep my finances together to make sure that I don't run out of gas and to make sure that I eat at least two meals a day.
I'm twenty one! I'm supposed to be living it up! Y'know? Supposed to be drinking, celebrating life, having fun! Nope. Nope. Nope. Let's also add in the fact that I woke up with a fever again and my throat pain is NOT going away which automatically makes me want to say that it is strep throat. :( The illness of my life! I don't have money to go to the doctor so I guess I'll... I don't know. There really isn't anything I can do. I'll have to let it go until it for sure is something that won't go away.
I feel unappreciated. I feel as if I try really hard to make other people happy and yet I get nothing out of it. I try to help others out and be friendly and listen and make an effort to show that somebody cares, but who cares about me? It's like that song-"I'm supergirl and I'm here to save the world, but I wanna know, who's gunna save me?"