Monday, July 8, 2013

A Lesson in Relationships

Chico and I have been together for almost five years now. We have gone through a lot of crap together and have learned a lot from our biggest blow-out.

The number one thing we learned to do is to keep negative comments to ourselves. This is not to say we do not let each other know about something that annoys/bothers us. Actually, quite the opposite. We ONLY tell each other. We have found that we are far more likely to complain about each other to friends and family but not praise each other to friends and family. This creates a lopsided illusion that makes our relationship sound crappy! Of course our loved ones don't want us in crappy relationships so they tell us ways to be bossy and/or to break up with each other. They don't fight for the other side or try to bring into perspective a story that is only being told from one side.

In the end, when you do something major in a relationship it should be completely your own idea. Getting married before a baby or before moving in, is perhaps traditional, but rushing into something like that isn't intelligent. Every relationship has to run its own course and only the two people involved should have any say over what happens.

It was an incredibly difficult learning experience for Chico and I. And when asked about our relationship we now think of the entirety of it. Not just the last fight we got into. By keeping our fights between us, we don't let anything else weasel its way in.


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